In the best of all possible worlds, the world would be made up of people consistently matching their actions to their words, and practicing what they preach. But we all know that’s not the real world—certainly not mine. Now, I’m not saying I don’t do try to do these things as often as I can myself; I do. But certainly not all the time! For example, I’ll say to someone I’m getting together with that I will “definitely” be on time—but often enough I’ll still end up running late (not a lot late for sure, but late). Or I preach forgiveness, but sometimes be unforgiving of someone anyway. Which of course makes me human, like the rest of the real world, right?
So much here online and elsewhere is written about loving yourself, or taking care of yourself, or re-parenting yourself, or being your own best friend. I mainly want to focus here on that last perspective – – the best friend part. To be the best type of friend you can be to yourself would, I hope you realize, be a real gift— from you to you!
I don’t know about you, but I was never a big fan of major change. Or to put that slightly differently, I’ve never been a great role-model of coping well with making major life transitions. Now, when I say the words “major transitions”—over the course of adult life– I’m especially referring to six possible ones…
how much does non-sexual intimacy matter to you in your relationship with your special woman? If your answer is anything less than “a lot” (or at least something like “ I know it should mean more, but I’m not sure how to get there”), then I encourage you to hear me out.
What follows is for any important relationship you are in, or someone you know is in: romantic love, parent-child, other family members, or platonic friendship. Let’s suppose you and someone with whom you are in a relationship argue often. Or, you don’t argue very often, but when you do, it can get nasty and contentious.Continue reading “When Arguing, What’s Your True Priority—WINNING OR RESOLVING? [Featuring Four Practical Steps For Positive Resolution]”
Overcoming Emotional Trauma: A Menu For Healing The Hurt That Holds You Back
The clearer you can become that there are things you like about yourself, you respect about yourself, you enjoy doing in your own company, and you do to effectively comfort yourself, the more you will know your self-love is where you want it to be
How to shift your self-judgement and overcome your inner bully.
When I think of a way to describe the meaning of the term “emotional self-worth,” I go with the following equation: self-worth equals self-esteem plus self-respect. Let me take each of those two separately. On the self-esteem front , I look at self-esteem as having two parts: the “outer” (how you feel about how youContinue reading “The Self-Worth Equation: Why The Little Things Make All The Difference”
Only in maybe the past 5 years have I become clear that my—I call it, and wrote a book on it—“inner bully” had kept me puffing away on a “never good enough” emotional treadmill. Meanwhile, in the process of trying so hard to see myself as “good enough”—better yet, good, much less very good—I was very successfully disregarding my actual successes in my life, be they, e.g., professionally, academically, or inter-personally.