In the best of all possible worlds, the world would be made up of people consistently matching their actions to their words, and practicing what they preach. But we all know that’s not the real world—certainly not mine. Now, I’m not saying I don’t do try to do these things as often as I can myself; I do. But certainly not all the time! For example, I’ll say to someone I’m getting together with that I will “definitely” be on time—but often enough I’ll still end up running late (not a lot late for sure, but late). Or I preach forgiveness, but sometimes be unforgiving of someone anyway. Which of course makes me human, like the rest of the real world, right?
Let me start by saying that I don’t know about you, but I know about me: over the course of my life, I have had times of experiencing pretty intense amounts of all three of these emotionally painful —although perfectly human—feelings. Fortunately, I have cultivated a set of tools that help me keep all three of these feelings in check whenever they pop up—tools which I plan to mention later on here.
So much here online and elsewhere is written about loving yourself, or taking care of yourself, or re-parenting yourself, or being your own best friend. I mainly want to focus here on that last perspective – – the best friend part. To be the best type of friend you can be to yourself would, I hope you realize, be a real gift— from you to you!
What’s so great about courage? Two things mainly, if you ask me. One: even though you may be anxious, it gives you an opportunity to pursue something you want , or make something you hope to happen actually happen. Second, even if you don’t end up getting what you want or making that something actually happen, you can always respect yourself for having given it a shot!
A foundation that has four hugely important pieces, all under the heading of mutual: mutual respect, trust, specialness, and comfort. Now, as very positive as that all sounds, you might wonder if say we argue at all?
I don’t know about you, but I was never a big fan of major change. Or to put that slightly differently, I’ve never been a great role-model of coping well with making major life transitions. Now, when I say the words “major transitions”—over the course of adult life– I’m especially referring to six possible ones…
how much does non-sexual intimacy matter to you in your relationship with your special woman? If your answer is anything less than “a lot” (or at least something like “ I know it should mean more, but I’m not sure how to get there”), then I encourage you to hear me out.
What follows is for any important relationship you are in, or someone you know is in: romantic love, parent-child, other family members, or platonic friendship. Let’s suppose you and someone with whom you are in a relationship argue often. Or, you don’t argue very often, but when you do, it can get nasty and contentious.Continue reading “When Arguing, What’s Your True Priority—WINNING OR RESOLVING? [Featuring Four Practical Steps For Positive Resolution]”
Overcoming Emotional Trauma: A Menu For Healing The Hurt That Holds You Back
The clearer you can become that there are things you like about yourself, you respect about yourself, you enjoy doing in your own company, and you do to effectively comfort yourself, the more you will know your self-love is where you want it to be