Becoming Your Own Best Friend: Advice On Cultivating Self-Love

So much here online and elsewhere is written about loving yourself, or taking care of yourself, or re-parenting yourself, or being your own best friend. I mainly want to focus here on that last perspective – – the best friend part. To be the best type of friend you can be to yourself would, I hope you realize, be a real gift— from you to you! I plan to share with you some recommendations I have for doing that – – which I guarantee you I do my darnedest to practice myself, and not just preach.

There is something that must be addressed first though. It’s called: your inner bully/critic (I personally prefer the term bully over critic only because I wrote a book with that term in the title; feel free though to use critic or any other term that resonates for you). Specifically, we all need to be mindful of the fact that our innerbully/critic is all about SELF-SABOTAGE. And one of its insidiously favorite ways of sabotaging us is to convince us deep down that we really do not deserve our own best-friend treatment. So when you read over the – – as I will call it–“You Best-Friending You” list below, keep in mind that while you may find it useful, your inner bully/critic is not going to want you to do these types of things – –which I’ll bet you unhesitatingly do for your closest friends!

One more preface before the list. Sticking with the term inner bully for the moment, keep in mind that like dealing with a real bully, you do yourself a favor by recognizing that it is jealous of you! Jealous mainly of all of your positive qualities, and all of the good things you do in your life. With that truth in mind, you need to stand up to your inner bully, to keep it in check to the best of your ability.

So here are my recommendations for a “You Best-Friending You” list:

🔸 at the end of each day, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back for anything you accomplished that day, including the “little things” that really aren’t little at all in the scheme of things

🔸 be as courageous as you can, whenever you can

🔸 create a “menu” of ways to comfort and soothe yourself when you are in emotional pain

🔸 challenge yourself only in a CONSTRUCTIVE manner, never destructively (squelch harshness and overcriticism of yourself!)

🔸 make sure to get at least one good laugh a day

🔸 make a list of your likable personality traits and qualities, and take a moment to look at it once a day

🔸 take the best care you can of your body, your overall physical health, and most certainly also your MENTAL health

🔸 make sure to engage in acts of kindness— to others but also most certainly to yourself

In closing, of course no one can consistently do all of these great-friend-to-yourself things. But the more of them we do—and the more consistently we do them— The better off we are guaranteed to be on the self-worth and self-esteem fronts!

So tell me: how much of this list do you feel applies to YOU?

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