So, indulge me in looking at the healthiness of a love relationship (or any relationship of significance for that matter) through the lens of the analogy of a house. A house has of course two main components: a frame and a foundation. The frame mainly encompasses what externally and internally looks and feels appealing about the house. So it’s obviously important to have the best and most enjoyable frame to that house you can have.
Yet there is another essential part of a house, which of course is the foundation. The part of the house that holds the frame up and keeps it in place, regardless of how the frame actually looks and feels.
Enough said; you know what a house is composed of!
Now I’ll use the word house as an analogy for a love relationship. Let me actually give a specific relationship example: my own current one. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. At this point I can safely say to date it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I say this because our “house” has a great frame AND is built on an increasingly rock-solid foundation. Our frame is made up especially of: physical chemistry, lots of laughs, very good communication, constructively challenging each other, taking as-needed “time-outs”, and frequent displays of affection. A very appealing and enjoyable frame that we both feel blessed to have.
But it’s our house’s foundation that counts more. A foundation that has four hugely important pieces, all under the heading of mutual: mutual respect, trust, specialness, and comfort. Now, as very positive as that all sounds, you might wonder if say we argue at all? Yes we sure do sometimes. You might also wonder if there are times we may irritate each other or hurt each other‘s feelings (unintentionally)? Ring up another yes for sure. But fortunately, these kinds of challenges have to date created only very small, temporary cracks in our foundation.
The big four pieces of our foundation overall remain solidly in place. Which we are both totally committed to working on building and keeping in place—including going for some sessions of therapy or counseling if needed!
Moral of the story? Well, let’s call it like it is: a real house can have a beautiful frame to it. But if cracks develop in its foundation, much less the foundation crumbles, then no matter how beautiful the frame may be the house collapses anyway. Same exact thing really of course for a love relationship “house.”
So, if you are currently in a love relationship yourself, or are seeking one out and hope to find one soon, make sure you get as solid a foundation in place as the two of you can. The best of a true future together rides — or, should I say, stands on it.