Care-Givers Versus Care-Takers

The other day, I was thinking about the distinction between being a care-giver vs. a care-taker. So I went to the “God of Google” for some non-cosmic insight on the matter. In several places that came up, the distinction made between the two essentially boiled down to this: care-GIVING involves giving in a deeply caring and personal way to a loved one, while care-TAKING refers more to a paid position, involving a person or situation as the object of the care-taking.

This distinction didn’t work very well for me I decided. So I went ahead and created a personally-preferred distinction. I’m sticking with care-giving as the personal giving of care to a loved one. But I’m switching care-TAKING to: the personal act of RECEIVING care from someone, be it a loved one, friend, or otherwise. I went with this distinction because I think it’s important to recognize that wonderfully care-giving people by nature can struggle with being on the receiving end—i.e., the taking in—of care-giving. Irrational guilt often is the underlying culprit here: essentially, feeling they don’t really deserve or have the right to receive care-giving—even when it’s clearly needed. So in enough instances, a care-giver by nature who at least temporarily needs care-giving given to them needs to be assured and reassured that it is perfectly ok to receive it, as it is a HUMAN NEED at times for everyone!

One more piece though. Care-givers do not always do a very good job of taking care of—or should I say giving care to—THEMSELVES. So to all you care-givers out there, I say: give yourself permission to receive care when you need it—but also make sure to take care of yourself too. After all, how can you really sustain being the best care-giver you expect yourself to be if you don’t balance it out at least some with taking or giving the best care you can to you?!

-Dr. Sid

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